“Tall, dark, and handsome. Mm, mm!”
Why are these the descriptions of a good-looker? Why can’t he be a bit short, not so dark, a little less muscular than a body builder, yet fully on fire for God and dreamy to a particular girl? Fairy tale beauty isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be. We have to get past those little Disney figurines; Erik, Aladdin, and even Prince Charming. We set guys up to fail by their very genetic makeup. We are sometimes quick to pass judgment because a guy doesn’t initially send an electrifying spark through our systems, or he didn’t fly in on a carpet or wild steed. He didn’t rescue us from the girls in the locker room or the fights with the parents. He didn’t toss his life in the ocean and start worshipping us the moment we walked into his life. Bah! Who does he think he is? Well, for starters, he’s a REAL guy. He isn’t a character dreamed up by an old man for millions of little children throughout the generations. Sometimes he doesn’t brush his teeth in the morning, doesn’t know how to comfort us when we’re crying, and may not want to carry on an elaborate, detailed conversation for more than five minutes. That’s okay. If we could get past the fictitious measure of handsome, we might truly see some of these guy friends and pursuers as the handsome creations God has uniquely made each of them to be. We might learn from them and find glimpses of God in each of them. I do think attraction is important, but first impressions are not always accurate portraits of true beauty. Some of these guys deserve a second glance where their true and handsome character may be revealed.
Ever since we were little girls we’ve been hearing fairytale stories. Aside from the innate desire to be pursued by the one we like, there are reinforcements in stories, playtime, movies, and in the modeling we observe from our peers. Many young girls have dreamed of their wedding day. Many dream of meeting their Prince Charming. He saves his fair lady, sweeps her off her feet, and makes her feel like the only girl in the world. There is only one problem with this foggy story: when young girls make this fairytale story their only goal in life. I’m afraid our make-believe world has sold us short on real life adventures. If we recall, many of our animated heroines are living lack luster lives looking for adventure. Along comes a hero. He is her adventure. He brightens the picture and brings color to her world. Somehow this has poisoned our minds to singlehood. Many are just waiting for that guy to prance in and turn the world upside down with discovery and expedition. Whoever our prince may be he is not the only adventure for us. Imagine how much pressure it would add to our guys if they felt they had to live up to the fairytales. Not only do they have to figure out their lives, become responsible leaders and providers, but now they also have to portray a gallant hero and continually provide copious amounts of entertainment for us. We have to keep these relationships in perspective. He’s human, just like we are. And we both bring something to the relationship table. We both have unique aspects of God to portray to the other person.
Do you think women’s expectations of men are too high? Could this mentality be one of the main culprits?